Before Coffee: Never Goes Smooth

May 25, 2016 § Leave a comment

There definitely was not enough cussing in yesterday’s post to convey the true frustration of owning a pool. We got the cover off last night (we being myself and my friend Aaron, to whom I owe at least several drinks), but then an $8 part broke and derailed the rest of the pool opening.

I’ll get the part today, but it’s supposed to storm for the next three days, so who knows when we’ll actually be able to begin the process of de-swamping the thing. (We being myself and Tracy, who has been a calming presence while I cussed and grumped and hated everything that is, was, or shall ever be. She’s a saint.)

It will remain a Pit of Despair for a few days, at least.

I also bought a $500 pool cleaning robot last night, because reasons. Actually, because I’m tired of cleaning the damn thing, and having a robot slave do it for me appeals to me right now. If the thing does a good job and lasts three years, I’ll consider it having paid for itself. Maybe I’ll release it from indenture to go roam the earth or protest for robot rights or join the secret robot army planning to annihilate us all.

Or I’ll use it until it dies, then send it to a landfill. That’s another way of annihilating us all, right? A slow death, choking on our own offal as the seas rise and the forests burn and the robots giggle in their eerie, autotuned voices.

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