why yes i have been up since 3 am please give me all your coffee

July 12, 2016 § 3 Comments

My sleep schedule last night looked something like this:

10:00 PM: Go to bed. Read.

11:00 PM: Go to sleep.

3:00 AM: Wake up to cat’s plaintive meow outside bedroom door. Get up. Pee. Ignore cat. Get back in bed.

3:02-4:00 AM: Lay in bed, wondering if slight tightness in chest is a heart attack. Check pulse in neck. Does that seem faint? Relocate fingers and check again. No, seems okay. Plus, no shooting pain in left arm. Except for that slight ache near that bruise But that’s just the bruise, right? Maybe not. Maybe it’s the beginning of the shooting pain.

3:40 AM: Get up, take two aspirin. Make peace with life lived. Didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to do, and didn’t even get one novel published, but fine. Whatever. Bring it, Death.

4:00-5:00 AM: Still alive. Maybe this isn’t a heart attack, but an anxiety/panic attack? Mentally review all the things I have to be stressed about. Long list, but nothing super huge on it. Okay, maybe losing my job. Wait, was that why Larry asked what I do? I mean, we’ve worked together for over six years, on several projects, but maybe that’s why he asked. Mentally review savings, begin to regret the big expenses made recently. Is it too late to cancel the landscaping contract? Probably.

5:00-5:57 AM: Wait, how much caffeine did I have yesterday? Three cups of coffee in the morning—no, four. Two sodas. Another coffee after lunch. Iced tea when I got home. Maybe this isn’t an anxiety attack. Vow to cut back on the caffeine, especially after dinner. Think about getting up to write, or possibly read. Nah, might wake up Tracy. Stare at ceiling. Feel dumb. Get up 13 minutes before alarm clock, because why not.

I’m going to need a lot of coffee to get through today. Wait …



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