Anno Coffee: That Feeling When
August 14, 2016 § Leave a comment
That feeling when you write something so great that you surprise yourself.
That feeling when you agree to share the thing you wrote with a group, and on the day your stomach hurts and you feel like you’ll vomit and you consider using illness as an excuse not to show up.
That feeling when you share the thing and everybody enjoys it, and you drive home with a huge grin and a feeling like you’re floating.
That feeling when you sit down to write and your heart starts pounding and your arms go numb, and you know you’re alone and no other writer has ever felt this way but you.
That feeling when you force yourself to start writing, and the words begin to flow, and the hours fly by.
That feeling when you read what you wrote the previous day, and it’s all garbage.
That feeling when you read something you wrote a few weeks ago, and it’s actually a lot better than you remember it being.
That feeling when you’re out with your creative friends, and they all seem so much more clever and successful and happy than you are, and you’re wondering what you’re even doing there.
That feeling when one of those friends confides in you privately that she feels like an utter failure, talentless, full of doubt, and you realize you’ve had all her same feelings and fears about yourself.
That feeling when you spot someone old enough to be retired working the checkout at the grocery, and you just know you’ll never succeed in your creative career and that will be your someday.
That feeling when a friend tells you he really liked that blog post you wrote.
That feeling when you think that if you ever publish the novel you’re working on, all your friends will realize what a terrible writer you really are.
All those feelings in italics? Those are lies told by the bully in our brain. Those are the excuses we tell ourselves so that we won’t try—because if we don’t try, we won’t fail.
And the rest, the feelings not in italics? That’s the truth. That’s what’s real about you and your talent. Cling to those moments, those truths. Write them down. Screenshot the text messages, save the emails, archive the comments.
On the days you don’t feel so good about yourself, read them. All of them in a flood. Float on them until you find a rock to stand on again.